I reached down and grabbed the energy drink out of my cooler that cracked as I put my hand into the bag. The fizzing liquid, clear and bubbly, went down my thirsty throat. The taste of blueberries erupted in my mouth. I closed my eyes for a moment and puckered my face as the substance traveled to my stomach.
My life was chaotic, unmastered, and I was mostly ignored. This gave me a feeling of freedom that words can’t charge pictures for. At home, my parents fed me, clothed me, provided a thick, grey roof over my head, and yet, to them, I was nothing but an inconvenience for them. A baby popping into the world wasn’t their idea. I came in much the same way condoms break and don’t fly away like red balloons. At least those showed a warning.
Annoyed with my thoughts I picked up a basketball and shot it at the goal. It bounced off the board, and I ran after its orange hopping soul.
Grabbing the sphere, I looked up and saw a strange man dressed in pink with a yellow ball cap, wrinkled and stained as if from the garbage can.
“Excuse me, sir,” I said.
“Indeed or in deed,” he repeated, and I noticed two different words.
“I…”
“Oh, my name is Eric, inspector of Earth.”
I didn’t reply.
“I have a question for you,” he said. I noticed he lacked a shadow.
“I need to get going,” I said.
“Just give me a thought for a penny.” My lower lip quivered, but I kept my fear silent. The guy was either crazy or trying to pull some stunt. I needed to keep my guard up.
“I…”
“So, in your cognition, is a thought true or is an action true?”
I paused perplexed by his reference, in your cognition.
“Um.”
“Look, I have three other planets to fly to today. You popped up in the computer, so don’t feel too special,’ the being said. A feeling of anger rose in me. He continued, “If you think of scoring a goal and your ball fails to achieve the thought, is the thought false?”
“Okay, weirdo,” I said. “The thought is true. The action is false.”
He chuckled, “Always a human. We knew you would go like space drums and the" Olgies.”
“Well, fine, the thought is false,” I said.
“The thought lead you to throw the ball and make a goal. It is difficult to put this concept into an insane species’ head. I’ll tell you that your thought is a lie and that you don’t know it because you’re barely conscious, as is the rest of your species. Well, goodbye in so many ways.”
“Wait!” I yelled out in vain. The alien disappeared, a faint scent of sulfur filled the air.
So aliens fart when they leave.
That’s the trophy of human humor, a thought entered my head.
Go away, I thought back.
Already am, dear.
