Resident Residue

The residents of Lovely Glory were called to a meeting on a calm spring afternoon. Apparently, someone ate a cake intended for everyone, or so said a few of them, envious of the thief.  The sun agreed in the sky behind the window.  

“Who ate the entire cake?” The manager, Mendy asked with her loud, strong

voice that could shake any continent to dust.

All eight of the residents looked around at each other, some angry because they wouldn’t get cake since someone took the entire, delicious dessert.  

A voice perked up from the corner of the room, “I’m diabetic.  If I ate the cake my 

blood sugar would have spiked to Hell and back,” said Melly with her perfect curls and youthful make-up.  She planned to take a walk in the autumn afternoon.  Melly kept her room straight and clean.  Mendy already knew she was innocent.  

The rest of the residents looked at each other with wrinkles and shaky bones.  

“Wait just a minute,” said Ben, “I have an alibi as well.  I went to the hospital last night.”  

“I know who it is,” said Janet. 

“Nobody likes a tattle tale,” said Ralf.  

“It’s not always about you,” Janet ranted.  She had missed an inch of her hair dye.

“It was me,” said Ralf.

“No, it wasn’t,” said Janet.

“Who do you think it was?” Ralf asked. 

“It was Sarah.  She snuck into the kitchen last night. She came later with a 

rectangular obect.

“It wasn’t me,” said Sarah, “I was carrying a TV dinner.”

“It was me. I’m telling you,” said Ralf.  

“Ralf!” They all yelled, used to his cries for attention.

“Okay, Ralf, why did you do it?” Mendy asked.

“Because life is like that.  Whoever takes the cake, wins the race.”

“And where are you going in life?” Janet sighed.  

“All the way until the end before you suckers!”

Most of the residents cocked their heads to the side. 

“Oh, you old folks, how can you not know that I’m going to heaven?”

“Because the devil doesn’t want you,” said Janet.

Everyone laughed.