We Do For You

 “Hey, there! I don’t know if you’ve heard or not, but there’s an amazing new company that just opened up three months ago.  It’s called, We Do For You.  You are the focus of all our attention.  We care, and we want you to live the best life possible–without reverting to extremes. Call today and you can be freed from your worst habits.  Embarrassment? You won’t be anymore.  We have the will for you to climb to the highest goals ever. You only have to call us.  Our number is below.

But why We Do For You?  We know this type of technology has only been around for a few months, but let me explain.

You’re sitting on the couch or fiddling with your techie, and you can’t find the willpower to get up and exercise.  Look at your belly, all wiggly and fat. You’ve eaten so much cake that nos you look like an obtuse one.  That is when we do it for you.  With approval from our app, we cater your will to your needs.  You will huff and puff but be unable to stop unless your body tells us otherwise.  We won’t push you past your limits. We add that spark of will that you’ve been missing.  

Don’t believe us?  Try for free today. All you have to do is give us permission and get those jogging pants on.  Suit up and watch that negative in your head fall away as you conquer your world, your potential.

  Listen to this amazing real individual let it all out.  JJ sure had a positive experience.”  

“At We Do For You, I reclaimed my will to get into shape.  Look at these plump muscles.  No longer do I have to stress out about quitting.  I’ve got my game back.  Now I can enjoy playing basketball with friends, and they respect me more.”  

That’s right, and you hear all of it here.  Listen to another satisfied customer…” 

“My Name is Tina, and I enjoy having a will stronger than my own.  You know, I grew up being bullied for my weight, and I kind of gave up on it before We Do For You.  I watched my will crumble with each bite of brownie until I was in a pathetic state.  But not anymore!  I’m a hot mama now, down one hundred pounds within the year.  If you can’t push yourself, go to somebody else.”

“Now some people have said, “that’s fraud.” Why would we commit fraud on a product meant to give people a will?  So many people today give up. They don’t want to do homework for six hours.  Their minds are distracted.  Not allowed with our help because we can ease stress and help relieve all the anxiety that comes with too many problems when Dancing with the Stars is on.  With us, Dancing with the Stars can wait.  We also give children’s packages or family packages for those who are a bit too destractable.  There is no shame and no blame. We are here for you.

You can also sit through that boring recital of your child squeaking in the band. You thought that he’d be better by now, but he’s not.  For a small price of $500 dollars, you can enjoy a Stress Flow.  What is a stress flow, you may ask?  It’s when calming waves roll through your body to stop tension from building up in your muscles.  No longer will you move around, impatient about the “Fruitcake” that is at the end.  Wouldn’t it be better to relax, and at least look like you’re a good parent?

Here’s another testimonial about this wonderful, life-changing techie.” 

“Before We Do For You, I was just another lazy bum in the office, wasting company time and fiddling on social networks.  My boss fired me, and I found a new job but had the same problems.  After We Do For You, I can file and use a spreadsheet for hours on end.”

“And we have more news to share.  We can treat addicts and alcoholics alike!  All you have to do is order today.  For an extra $200 dollars, each time you taste your substance of shame, you’ll walk straight to the trashcan and get rid of that toxin.  Ask Wade.  He managed to beat his coke habit with We Do For You.  Wade?”

“We Do For You has been the bestselling anti-drug treatment I’ve ever had.  I feel relaxed giving up now.  I purchased Stress Flow, too, and my craving stopped. Thanks to the will given to me, I can’t even touch the drug.  Now I have a wife and kids.  My mom stopped by and actually talked to me after having disowned me for so long.”  

“You hear it live and with pride.  With a new will, you can do anything!  We throw your old, dead will into the trash and restore you to a state of health, wealth, and accomplishments.

Here is a happy caller on the line now.  

“Yes, is this We Do For You? I’ve been wanting to try this company and see if it’s beneficial, but I’m afraid that I will grow weary or want something I’m not allowed to have and my body will be pulled away from it.”

“I can assure you that you won’t want your old addictions popping up. Still, you will be assisted.  We wouldn’t want you to deny yourself or be unhappy.  You would go to the doctor for free and ask him or her to shut off the device, and you can go home and indulge in the lifestyle you want.  We are big into choice and lifestyle.  Remember, our will allows you to do everything. Here is another caller.”

“Hi, my name is Mark and I want to say that I think your company is —.”

“What happened, Mark, are you still there?”

“Great. I love We Do For You.”  “It’s always good to hear from a satisfied customer.  Everyone watching, throw your old will away and improve yourself today!”